Tag Archive | inspiration poem

F

or many days I wanted to live in solitude
Emptiness for me was my daily bread
Darkness overtook light in my world
I found comfort in music
Sometimes in books
Pouring my heart in writing
At least I knew they never disappoint
……..
How do you let go
Of the person you loved
Of the people who hurt you
Of that loved one who is no longer part of this world
How do you come to terms with life
When it takes away all the people you love
When you lost your yourself in crowds
Maybe silence was your only partner
And no one seems to understand
Depression overtakes your life
And you still want to fight
But its too much
Dreams are better than real life
You want to sleep forever
Your shadow becomes your closest companion
And each day you try searching your own self
But she’s gone,
And how do you come to terms with reality
And this little thing in your tummy
How will I explain years later
To my child
That s/he was made out of love
Yet her Dad walked out on me
Few months after conception
Because he wasn’t ‘ready’
To become a Daddy
Painful stuff!!!mmh­čśó­čśó­čśó
And how would I teach him
That life doesn’t give us what we want
How would I fill that space
How would I convince him
That men are responsible
And how will I tell him
That his Dad is still roaming around
What type of man will he grow up to be
Coz I didn’t want him to grow up
With full of resentment and hate
I wanted him to grow up
As a responsible man
A man proud of herself
And proud of a she
I wanted him to find love
To appreciate life
To respect her lady in future
To man up and work this out
To be ready for any consequences that follows his choices
And each day I prayed for that little angel inside me
That he will still be proud of me
And that he’ll learn that fathering ain’t easy
It goes way beyond being biological….
……

 

You wonder how I turned out like this

I grew up with too much confusion

And too many voices

My parents wanted me to be like so and so

It was one hell of a place

Why was I not like ‘her’

She was such a darling

She respected her parents

She dressed like a lady

She was one genius girl

She had a shape of a lady

She didn’t go out at night

Or hangout with the crazy..bad boys

She was a church girl

She knew what she wanted in life

And I was a zombie

Not getting in class

Hanging around with guys

Maybe that’s what made me a tomboy

They didn’t really understand what I wanted

Maybe I also didn’t know

And taking those long night walks

Was for my own peace of mind

I never wanted to face my reality

Those arguments and long talks

Never did me any good

And sometimes

Why was I not like ‘him’

He knew how to talk to elders

Never really addressed people rudely

Or just not answer when asked a question

Why didn’t I hang around with him

He was such an handsome guy

Really cool and don’t do drugs

He had a way of making life look lively

He could make a good ‘son in law’

But maybe he wasn’t my type

Maybe I never wanted such a cool guy

I needed one crazy hell of a guy

Because my life was a crazy world

And cool guys couldn’t handle me

I needed one who wasn’t rude

But would at least

Make me understand what I wanted

Not one who listened to mother in laws

And do everything he’s told

But one who had that kinda character

That not even that devilish mother in law

Would change it….

And that’s how my life was

I didn’t have any role model

Not in my mother’s

Nor father’s character

And in growing up

I spent my life

Either alone

Or with ‘bad boys’

I needed hardcore types

And I was more of a tomboy

And I would sleep out most of the time

Just to either prove my parents wrong

Or maybe to stir their anger

Or open their eyes

They needed to see beyond

Their expectations

Reality of life

They needed to understand

My potential

My uniqueness

But they were too busy

Wanting me to be like so and so

And I finally walked out

And you can’t blame me

I didn’t turn out they way they wanted

I couldn’t

I was different

I couldn’t make them proud maybe

But I didn’t turn out badly

I maybe such a hardcore

A pain in the neck

But I made myself proud

I wanted to be me

And that’s what I am

…..

I didn’t loose myself

While trying to find myself

Maybe me walking out was the best decision

And I certainly made it

 

When I’m grown up enough to become someone’s wife
And free enough to bare him some kids
I’ll be happy enough to make a dream come true
Not a dream of becoming someone’s wife
But a dream of becoming the best mum
The most responsible woman
See, I don’t blame any parent out there
Or any kid out there
Who was born in a rich family
Its the best life one could ever want to live
But I think parents are going wrong
No,I’m damn sure they are
You see, these kids are pampered so much
How will you explain to a 25 year old lady how prepare food for his husband
Or how to wash her own clothes
Or maintain a man in her life
You see, this girl has been brought in an environment
Where she’s been taught to just ask and take
An environment where no roles for her
No duties for her
Only parties
And maybe traveling
And not through buses,or bodaboda
But tinted private cars
And the only people she knows
Are those little ‘bitches’ of her kind
And there language is more of refined
And making friends in her own world means,having people of her class around
And lacking to her is a new vocabulary…..
And how do you explain to a mama’s boy
30 years old enough to depend on himself
But still lives in his mama’s house
And gets everything he asks for,
How to fall in love with a girl
And treat her better
And not tell her to treat him better the way his mother does
Or maybe cook food the way his mother does
Or maybe pamper him the way his mother does
Okay,how on earth would you compare a girl to your mother
How on earth will a lady does things exactly the way your mother does
How long will you sing the same song to your girl about your mama
Don’t you think its kind of irritating, disgusting, disrespectful….. And so on
My point is that it doesn’t matter your status
Your kind of class
But when in a position to mother a child
I’d better teach him both sides of life
No matter how wealthy I am
There are times we can lack
And we they are supposed to be responsible
Understand that its not every time you need something you get it
You should work hard to get somewhere
And people are different
There is life outside there
And you need people of all classes
You need relationship with people from different side of life
Interaction with people is healthy
And so on and so forth…….

Until you experience it, you won’t know how it feels like
Until you loose someone, you won’t know the pain
Until your heart is broken, you won’t know how it hurts
Until you sleep hungry, you won’t appreciate the little you put to your stomach
Until you sleep in streets, you won’t know it appreciate to be in warm bed in your single house
Until someone looks down on you, then you won’t understand what it means to be underestimated
You see life is so funny, or rather we human beings are
We tend to ignore things and take them for granted
Until we are ‘touched’ then other people’s experiences won’t be enough to teach us
You’ve got every second counting
The clock is always ticking
But as for you, you are still in the same place
No improvement, no change, always full of pride and ego
Someone gives you all the Love, attention but it doesn’t make ‘sense ‘ to you
So when s/he decides to give up it hits you hard
And you open your eyes when it’s too late
When your loved die, that’s when you realize s/he meant alot to you
But it’s too late to give back all the Love because s/he is no more
And so it’s a challenge to all of us
Every little moment count
Let’s make the best of every little time
Put your ego, pride and whatever aside
Appreciate, Love, Respect, Forgive, Help others
Just do touch others
Leave a legacy behind
It will make sense if it doesn’t right now..
┬ętruphyshila

It’s Life…

It’s dark all over
In the middle of the night
But your eyes are still wide awake
The only thing giving you company is the dripping water from your bathroom
Or funny noises from outside which you can’t tell from what…
Your head is full of thousands thoughts
You’ve got worries and fears
About life, love, family, wealth, money and the list is just endless
You wonder why things happen unexpected
Why do things go so wrong
Or why do they happen so fast or slow
Why is it when you are just about to make it something comes up and you have to start from zero
You’ve got so many questions
With no answers or solutions
You are just tired of everything but you realize tomorrow is another day
You’ve got to wake up and resume your normal routine
And just look so okay as if everything is fine
But at the end of it all
We are just human
Or maybe Aliens
Living in a world full of problems and pain
Maybe it’s nature… Destiny.. Fate
Just maybe
But there are things that goes beyond our understanding
We’ve got to live once
Make the best of every little time we got
Or just wait on God
Because God’s timing is the BEST…
┬ętruphythepoet

#until when tutaimba the same song

Nakaa chini natry kukachora
Najaribu kuwaza Na kuwazua
Ni which language ntatumia
Ndo atleast mse anielewe
Until wen tutaimba the same song
Ndo atleast tuchange society yetu

Tumeishi for long tukifight
Girlchild rights zake apewe
Na Sasa imekuwa ni Kama tulikosea
Wamepata too much freedom
Wakasahau place walitoka
Instead ya kuchange for better
Wamedecide kuchange for worse

Nashindwa kuelewa niaje
Mzazi wako amejinyima ndo upate
Na still unataka raha inakulead Kwa grave
Until when tutaishi kuimba the same song
Hearts zetu zinahurt
Kujua Wengi wetu wanapotea njia
Rather than kupata njia

Kuna beast inajiita ‘contraceptive’
Inaendelea kutumaliza polepole
Tunajiita the digital generation
Tukidhani tunatrend na kujua mob
Yet tunajipoteza na kuacha analog generation wakirule
Abortion imekua ni Kama kutema mate
Tunakill innocent souls tukidhani tuko right
Yet tunajidestroy sisi wenyewe

Si ati sex ikona expiry date
But Kama huesmake kuabstain
Kuwa ready kuchukua responsibility
Na consequences zitafollow
Coz STI ‘s na ukedi n real
Na inarise Kwa mayouth kuliko wazee
Unatry kuprevent mimba ukitumia pills
Una end up kukuwa barren Kwa lifetime

Si ati Kuna maholy Jo’
Ni venye inabidi kujiheshimu
Then the rest watakupea respect
Funga your thigh land
Na hakuna mse atatry kuiopen
Coz we si public property
Unless unadai kujionyesha
Ukue mali ya Umma.

┬ętruphythepoet 2016